Never have I ever come across a material object so symbolic and connected to how I feel, how I am. At first glance, I find this piece of jewelry to be gorgeous. But on a deeper level, I'm so much more connected to it. It's a rare and beautiful stone. It's also unpolished and unrefined. There's beauty in the flaws if you're open to it. It has this striking color and unique shape that makes it one of a kind. It stands out, yet it blends. If you were to throw this pendant into a box with other purple stones, it can camouflage. But it's still distinctly different. This pendant is trapped in two worlds, not quite belonging in either. It's pretty, but it's unpolished and unrefined. Yet it blends in enough to not fit in with the outsiders. There's a constant sense of vulnerability and desire to belong that exists, as well as a symbol of strength for its individuality. Story of my life.
I love how rough edged it is. It reminds me of who I am. When I'm able to be honest with myself and my insecurities and self-conscious nature is silent, I find myself attractive. There's beauty in me, but I certainly have my flaws. It's all in how you perceive beauty and what you focus on. Only people who appreciate such uniqueness is going to see me for who I am. I think I'm flawed beauty. Yet there's so much in me than I allow myself to realize. The imperfection that exists in me is what makes me so defined and original. I spend so much time focusing and dwelling on that that I forget why I don't work towards changing even when I can...because I don't want to. For better or worse, this is who I am. Yet I'm not as permanent and distinct as I'd like to believe I am. I can always become polished. But this is who I am now. This is what I am. Most importantly, this is what I want to be. It's more than a statement. It's symbolic and reflective of my identity and my life.
I'm so disappointed that I wasn't able to get this pendant. I think this will mark one of my biggest regrets in life. It sounds frivolous, but it's so much more significant and meaningful to me than others may realize. I really want this to be my signature object as a reminder of who I am, something to be proud of.
