Checking In

My absence can easily be interpreted as though I've accepted defeat. While, admittedly, I have neglected this blog, trying to developing my own fashion sense hasn't gone forgotten. A lot of tops are made a lot lengthier now, which is very advantageous for me. I'm a tall person trapped in a short person. I have a long torso for my size, so everything wears too short on me. I'm so glad that fashion is inadvertently accommodating me right now. I better take advantage of it while I still can. I've been focusing more on cosmetics more than anything, experimenting with the right lipstick and lipgloss shade. It really does make me feel better to make it a priority. It makes me feel better about myself. On one end, that's a good thing. But I'm also disappointed that it takes something frivolous and superficial to make me feel validated. That's something I have to work on.

There have been a lot of things I've had to work on. For example, finding a job to gain financial security is the major concern in my life. I have two interviews at employment agencies set up. I realized that I don't own anything that's interview appropriate, a closet full of clothes and not a thing to wear. I know every girl seems to say this, but for me it's really true. I have clothes that's appropriate for windy San Francisco weather, knitted sweaters, cardigans, etc. and halters and other slinky tops that work for a sunny day but not for a professional interview. Professional interview tops are too hot for what feels like a heat wave. As for footwear, I only own a pair of black sneakers and flip flops at the moment. I'm very minimalist right now. I don't even own a pair of black slacks. And I don't mean I have ten pants and not one of them work. I mean I don't own a pair of black pants of any kind.

The worst part is that I'm an impossible size to shop for. Okay, so I'm exaggerating a little. I'm thin enough to fit a size zero, but a one or three is too tight at the same store! I bought a pair of khaki slacks in 00 petite, but a zero was too tight. What is that? Being a size 5 in shoes is no picnic, either. Most stores no longer even carry my size anymore. I had to settle on getting size 6 and jam packing it with foot protectors. I was left with the right pants, but the wrong shoes. I already own the right skirts but all the wrong shoes. It's made me realize that this goal is going to require my discipline and effort than I imagined, but I'm looking forward to the change.